Midlife crisis and artistic isolation.

 I must admit, I've been feeling creatively isolated lately...I am not socially isolated, I have close, loved people in my life, but I don't know any artists anymore.  

The other day, I went to The Door Gallery cafe in the Old Papermill arts precinct.  It was a beautiful Spring day and all the outdoor tables were taken by "The Bohemians", the artistic oldies,  all with glasses of wine and cheese boards in the middle of the day on a Friday. It made me feel quite wistful for my own bohemian days.  

I've been thinking of my time at Uni a lot lately.  I remember it as being a protracted time of confusion and angst...but also, it was a time of recklessness and abandon and I really feel less colourful these days because I've left that identity behind. I am so nostalgic for hot Summer days in the studio, just puddling about with paints and paper, in the midst of a whole lot of other artists doing the same.  I really believe art school is like finding a second family, we come together as visual people, outcasts, eccentrics.  You would be hard-pressed to find such a large gathering of diverse souls anywhere else.

I'm definitely experiencing some existential angst about it all, at the moment.  Do I want to spend my last couple of decades on earth only doing what I am doing now?  No. I do not.  I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to remedy this though.  I think we should all be offered two chances to go to art school in our lives, once when we are young and once when we are much older. The experiences would come at just the perfect times...while young, it is a gateway to the world.  When older, it is a gateway back to the true self.  

I would love to study again one day.  I don't know if that will ever happen as it is so expensive to access tertiary education these days.  Also, I would basically be starting from scratch.  It has been so long out of the artistic community, I'm pretty much a beginner again. I certainly don't mind that, in fact, I could go and do a TAFE course right now and come out the other end with a body of work and my key to the Art World.  Hmmm. Perhaps I better look into this further.  It seemed an impossibility a moment ago, but now....maybe I better look into this possibility for an adventure.